Annoyances

Annoyances (for the most part) are particularly annoying.  In high level professional coaching, annoyances can be particularly damaging.

In order to be fully present to another person, whether as a coach or not, one is called forth to let annoyances exist without distracting from the task at hand.

What's an annoyance? Well, let me make up my own definition ... as I do often.  Annoyances are anything that may get in the way of doing something more important.

For example, a client calls and expects me to be "there" and ready to help him/her deal with some issue or another. My office is particularly warm that day and my ceiling fan is not working. Of course I am annoyed and wondering who needs to come and repair it.  My client is on the phone.

One of the skills of a truly professional coach is the competency "Coaching Presence" wherein the annoyance disappears and is not a factor at anytime in the conversation (even a warm room and non-functioning ceiling fan).  What I mean by 'a factor' doesn't mean to imply it's not there. It's just not a player in the coaching relationship.

Have you ever had a coaching conversation only to discover at its conclusion that you don't recall even sitting in a chair or feeling the ambient temperature in the room?  This is what is meant by being fully present.  It's one thing to be present (such as I am 'here') and another to be completely captured within the conversation (fully present). 

It's pretty cool to experience it.

Here's how it shows up in your coaching skill set: you're not in your head and preoccupied with what you think, judge or know.  You are instead completely engaged in service of your client and what's on your client's mind or the session. You have no notes to take (except maybe for the very first session), no pre-conceived ideas about the situation, no ready-made stories to tell, no goal for the client. What you are doing when fully present is listening for what is being said, hearing what is not said, being authentic and honest, and fully supporting your client's unique and special self-expression.

Annoyances never again interfere. They just are.

Takes a bit of practice. It's worth the journey.