Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Coaching Self-Management: Never Step Over the Obvious

I've talked about this previously, I think. But it's ongoing and ripe for some more investigation.

I dash back and forth across the country to do my part as a caretaker of my mother. Our entire family is engaged in this remarkable display of selfless teamwork. Even great-grandchildren were doing their share being terrific, drawing pictures and "swiffering" her hardwood floors. We all love my mom/grandma/GG (one does acquire a plethora of names throughout one's life). We know she is dying and are making her last days comfortable in her hospice setting at home.

In the middle of this activity I must work. My work is coaching. My profession asks that I work at my best with each and every client no matter what.

"Never step over the obvious!"

First of all, I acknowledge what's in my "space" (to use coaching jargon). Perhaps I should just say that I acknowledge what's so and move on with the conversation. How does one do that? I mean, there's the emotion of a mother ill and dying in the next room. In my situation, my mother thinks what I do is wonderful and smiles broadly when she hears the phone ring. That alone is supportive and inspiring.

"Never step over the obvious!"

First and foremost my work as a coach requires me to be of service to my client and his/her agenda for that coaching call (I have run out of energy around the term 'session'). After thousands of hours as a coach, by now I should have acquired quite a skill being present (a core competency of coaching) ... fully present to my client and to what we're talking about. There's more to this: I also must be in the mindset of curiosity, willing to explore ideas, thoughts and concerns as a partner with my client in that hour. This is definitely possible no matter what. What makes it so or helps to make it so is that I have not stepped over the obvious (my mother's illness) neither have I made it the subject of anything but a soft "reporting in" when asked by my client. That's it! It's not complicated and frankly it's quite a lovely respite from my world to be able to engage in the world of another person.

This way of approaching professional coaching allows the coach to be effectively self-managed.

2 comments:

  1. This seems like a really open and effective approach. I found this post really moving - it goes straight to the heart of how so many of us feel when the big events of life take up so much space in our hearts. Thank you!

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  2. Christine,
    I admire the way you are living out the ethics of who you are as a person and as a coach as you move through these tender times in your life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and reflections with others as you move through this uncharted territory. It sounds like it’s helpful to the giver and also to the receivers.

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