Coaching Competencies and Family Life

Blogging slipped away from me most of January Twenty-Ten. There's a saying that I always laughed at but here I am living it: "Life interferes when you have other plans." But it's the realness of life that makes it worth living.

Of course I worked as usual through some challenging days. Coaching is a profession that demands I take care to self-manage myself. No client of mine is owed my challenges unless our relationship is at such a point it's okay to share. Every client's agenda is front and center every time. And lest we forget, being authentic is still the overarching behavior for a coach.

Once again "listening" became the most important quality I could bring to my 91 year old mother who is becoming less strong every day. I needed to bring every listening skill I possess to her bedside so I could hear what she wants for the end of her life. Sure, I could listen to her through the filters of my own feelings and wishes. But would that serve her? Of course not. She is now under home hospice care, not a decision to be taken lightly, but one she willingly made. I was there to listen, to care, to deliver her decision.

Why is this important for coaching? Or should I respect you and assume it's completely obvious. We in professional coaching who know what coaching is will get the message easily.

Let's see: My mother has an agenda that it's my job to honor. My mother and I trust each other implicitly; it was my role to create a safe space for her. I was present in my mother's house and to her wishes, flexible in what my role was and confident I could carry it out. I listened, listened and listened again until we were completely aligned on her wishes. I asked questions that had impact with no niceities to hide the reality. I, the coach, reached awareness; my mother was already there. We designed actions and created a plan. We did so as partners so my mother would not be left alone as time moved along.

Coaching is transferable to all and any relationships we find in life. So many of my scientist/engineer clients tell me how what we talk about for their work slowly and surely "gets home and into my family." It doesn't matter whether coach or client ... we can bring impact to whomever desires us to do so.