Accidental Lesson in Listening

I was in the bank today with plenty of time to conduct my business ... a rare moment so I do everything at one time. On the TV a controversial report on CNN was playing. One of the people in line turned to those behind him (I was out of the line waiting for something else) and began using language probably not welcome by everyone. He was opining about the new flight restrictions and the "stupidity of everyone." I noticed how quickly others joined in or nodded. I was in a place to watch and hear.

Did I want to hear this person opine? Not really, so it was up to me to tune it all out. I was immediately reminded of how we selectively perceive, listen and hear. I did not want to judge this person but of course I did to some extent ... and I wouldn't join in as I had a positive experience at the Toronto airport two days ago ... even with all the changes, pat down, searches. It all worked and for my benefit.

Anyway, what does this have to do with coaching? As a student of humanity ... one cannot help but become this after coaching for as long as I have ... I need frequent reminders that I am in charge of how I listen and what I hear. This goes for client work. Given every client is different from every other client, I must listen with generosity, acceptance and appreciation. If I cannot do this every time I am not coaching ... I am doing something else. Harsh as that sounds, listening is the heart and soul of coaching techniques and so must be the gift you and I give to another. And a wonderful gift it is.

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." ... William James