Coaching As A Commodity -- Really?

The principal lesson I learned from a wonderful ICF-sponsored teleclass presented by Vicky Sullivan and Kay Cannon is that while I was comfortably engaged in the 7-year cocoon of the NASA project, the coaching profession had morphed into a commodity.

Yikes!  This is truly earthshaking information for me.

What is a commodity, you ask? Well, in business parlance it means something that has become accepted and understood. That can include anything that people and organizations have decided they need. I never imagined coaching would arrive at this stage so quickly.

You might argue with this. After all, not everyone knows the benefits of coaching. True enough. However, if you’ve read Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point it seems entirely possible that this is indeed how things are.

There comes a point in time when an idea takes hold with strength to endure. I’m not sure this is the case for all kinds of coaching but it appears to be the case with organization (executive, corporate, leadership) coaching.

And now the question I must ask myself: What do I need to do?

Clearly, I must respond carefully with my next moves in order to make a living. Could it be more obvious?

Having been in business now for 25 years I need to pull out the basics (that I taught for 15 years). When looking at what is next for me to do I must once again engage my entrepreneurial spirit, my years of experience … and fearlessly innovate!

I recently changed my vision statement from “Sustaining High Performance Over Time” to “Building People & Enterprise for Long Term Success.” I intend to design my expertise menu to include not only executive coaching but also to underscore management consulting and facilitation … (how I earned a living prior to the NASA project). I might even include two of my favorites: grad school teaching and public speaking …but those ideas are open for debate (with myself).

I expect these questions from curious minds: Isn’t that a rather heavy menu? Isn’t it too scattered? Don’t you want to focus more?

Yes, eventually I will focus. I shall narrow the field but I won’t leave anything out until I’ve looked at them all and entertained opportunities that show up. I can truthfully say that coaching will always be included, however.

More to come ….

Working My Way Down to Clues

My relationship to the world around me is primarily visual. Some of you will happily join me and note that you are inclined to see things rather than hear or touch them. We even use language like “I see.” as a response to a request or comment or explanation. That’s a clue or cue to how to best work with me.

Try to imagine that I not only see the science in this meteorite coming really close to our planet but I find it metaphorically symbolizes getting to the point, narrowing in on an idea, sparking a creative thought. And it’s beautiful.

Now this visual thing can get pretty elaborate. I often find my thoughts (like most of the time) translating words into visual images, or racing through like a 24/7 video tape, or even just looking around for inspiration. I have lots of artwork on my walls: dramatic and complex, tiny and simple … all evocative (for me). I like to read action novels for relaxation noting how I rapidly translate the printed words into my version of the images those very words are describing. It’s just how it is for me.

We are all born with some sort of way to process the world around us. Small children touch, taste, test everything and watch big people … all of the time. When my grandchildren were very small they crawled and I crawled with them … a revelation regarding the world around me. I saw newly what I didn’t know I was seeing when a tiny little girl.

We all process information in all the usual basic ways: visual, kinesthetic, verbal, and auditory. I’m going to add: linear and non-linear, interpretation, meaning, recognition, empathy. It’s all fascinating and doesn’t begin to include personality, morality (ethics) and character. I learned by watching those I admired …visual learning once again.

What does this have to do with coaching? From my perspective, in coaching we don’t need to be complicated or complex … it’s suffices to know that individuals process information in the basic ways. A question can be asked in different ways if we know just this much about our client: “How might (do) you (see, feel, hear, verbalize) the situation?” “What does that mean to you?”

It’s truly important how we speak to our clients and connect to what works for them … the ICF the competency that recognizes this is called Direct Communication. Think about it. If I don’t pick up the clues as to how my client processes information and just push on with a story or recommend a book or expect a particular response … not much is going to happen except nice agreements and a friendly conversation … which is fine but it’s not powerful coaching.

We are now down to clues (the kinds discussed above, for starters). Clues (or cues) are the keys to exploration, discovery, forward progress, the euphemistic “going deeper,” awareness and creativity. Ignore the clues and stay painfully on the surface seeking information, agreement, and a nice experience, maybe even fun. Mostly, the focus of a coaching conversation where clues are missed will generally result in a clients not being challenged or engaged in exploration and discovery. From where could come an important action to take when nothing has been discovered?

The purpose of coaching is to partner with a client in exploring the heart of his/her agenda, to allow that client to discover something new and important, and then to work with that client in designing steps forward in order to act on that discovery and new learning. The client then does the “heavy lifting” while coach is there for support and appreciation.



Some Really Tough Lessons Learned

Over the past month I experienced being “canned” from my NASA work after 7 years. (‘Canned’ is the delightful way one of my clients put it …’fired’ is much too negative.)
In view of that stellar event, I am giving myself important advice: it’s important to collect lessons learned … and here are some of them.

Question for me: Are we coaches ever indispensable?

‘Indispensable’ is not the language of coaching, is it? No, and that’s perfectly fine. Intellectually (logically) we know we’re not. Coaching is a choice involving both client and coach. “I don’t really want a coach” is just as valid and appropriate as “Yes, I think I’d like a coach.” That’s how the profession goes … no co-dependency, always choice. Only people who want (at some level) to be coached are actually coach-able. Agreed?

I’ve been thinking about the dynamics of informing 35+ clients I would not be able to coach them anymore. (In organization coaching when under a contract, the holder of the contract has all the power … that wasn’t me.) The whole concept of ‘choice’ came into focus as did all sorts of emotional reactions from my clients. Let’s go through my list as I see it at this moment in time.

   1. In a 3rd party contractual arrangement, a client is not directly responsible for compensating the coach. In other words, “If someone else is paying, I’m on board!” How difficult is it to imagine what happens to the commitment when the contract is broken? There were extenuating circumstances regarding my ability to approach a client with an offer to continue. Ergo, the choice to be coached is suddenly compromised. And, moving from “free” to “time to pay” is not going to happen often if ever.

   2. Over the many years I’ve coached, when possible I have done my very best to ease the conclusion of a coaching relationship. In some cases, that meant smoothing the road to another coach. In some cases, that meant setting the client up for future success without the support of the coach. In some cases, that meant dealing with strong emotions, often on both sides of the relationship (e.g. anger, shock, sadness, fear, resignation, disappointment). This time an emotional reaction was prevalent and a challenge to manage. I needed to balance my own anger at how this all came down with my deep caring for each client. Clearly, my role was to be calm and caring … every time.

   3. Above all, and of course given coaching is a choice, unquestionably the coach is never indispensable. It is the natural course of our profession that each client will ultimately depart for one reason or another (remember that Coaching Agreement?). Over 18 years of coaching, that moment (however it occurs) is something I’ve experienced over and over and over again. For sure, I’m not now or ever have been indispensable in the life and work of any client. Yet I do have the private pleasure of knowing that sometimes I made a difference.

   4. Coaching self-management also includes the conclusion of the relationship just as surely as any other phase of the relationship. This time, it was the quantity and rapid time frame of the departures that taxed this coach more than ever before. This was new territory for me and not a welcome experience. Yet, and no matter what, I get to keep forever the experience and memories of wonderful people who do great work.

What’s next? Bounce back, engage my creativity, work hard, focus in, and stay out of the “soup of unhelpful emotions.” Sounds like a plan for 2011 and beyond.

Not Becoming Enmeshed

It's well known (or at least considered by most) that life is a series of events that we live through via the stories we create about each event. At least that's my take on life. Think about it ...everything is more interesting that way ... and I mean everything. Even in the absence of much or any information I will fill in the blanks with whatever occurs to me, often a worst case scenario. Thinking of myself as an optimist, I find I must resist that "worst case scenario" stuff as much as possible.

What's even more important is that our effectiveness in life is determined (at least I think so) by how we respond to those events.  It's like a great shortstop (baseball is the game) fielding the ball within nanoseconds and throwing it to the appropriate base.  There's no drama, no emotional indecision for the player.  He simply takes the action. 

What does this have to do with coaching?

One of the behavioral hallmarks of masterful coaching is the coach's capacity to stay out of the client's story ... i.e. not become enmeshed in it. For new coaches, it's nearly irresistible to stay away from getting involved. After all, aren't we all learning how to connect, to create trust and intimacy, to be present, ... and all of those essential competencies? Sure! That's square one. Being friendly, interested, captured by someone else's account of their situation is truly cool. Our clients love us to "get into the story" with them.

At this time in my life I find myself getting enmeshed in my own stories. I'm rather good at not getting enmeshed in my clients' stories. Before you laugh too hard, as I said this morning on a conference call where everyone was talking about all the great things they did all summer, I'm in a perfect storm at the moment. In fact, I'm caught in my own life drama proving once again that we coaches have a seriously great challenge in managing ourselves. 'Wishing' won't make anything go away. Even 'hope' won't do the deed. Good coaching just might.

The other day I had some very good coaching around all this drama ... my very own soap opera.  In looking at my soap opera I discovered that I actually do some things well right now: shred papers, go through files and clothes to donate, mess around with Twitter, fool around in my yard and watch a bit more TV than usual ...oh, and read action novels. Sounds like I don't have much to do and ... you're right! The coaching outcome of this most excellent session was for me to give myself permission to indulge my wishful thinking or frustration for 5 minutes and end it. There's no denial necessary or onerous discipline to this practice except that 5 minutes = 5 minutes.  That's pretty okay with me.

This personal approach derives automatically from how I practice coaching.  I've often helped a client figure out a practice like the '5-minute rule.'  I don't know if a client takes one minute or ten but it's the point of the thing.  So, in coaching you and I cannot, must not, should never become part of a client's story ... like a player in a game or actor in a play.  Our job is to listen for what's being said and not said.  If I am in my client's story, I'm going to miss clues and most definitely those particular clues that can possibly make a difference.  I want to be present, connected, trusted, close ... but not enmeshed.  I have to have room (and objectivity enough) to pick up those clues!

It seems to me that becoming enmeshed is to tamper with the partnership that defines the coaching relationship.  I'll think more about that later.  Of course you may have better or more interesting ideas on the subject.

Partnering: The Coach’s Road to Mastery

This blog was written for coaches who struggle with being helpful, often too helpful, thus denying themselves and their clients the full range of possibilities that coaching from partnership can provide.

Christine’s Fearless Definitions:

Helping – Lending a hand as if stronger, more knowledgeable, or in a position of strength.
Empowering – Creating a context where another assumes power on his/her own in a situation or idea.

In working with dozens of coaches at all stages of development from new student to master with my role being either a mentor coach or examiner for credentials, it has become quite evident that we who are of the “helping professions” have a more powerful role to play in the lives of our clients than simply helping them will allow.

There are two distinctions, unique to coaching in how they are used, that may help clarify for us what coaching is truly all about and why it is different from all other “helping” professions.

1. Partnering. This essential piece of the relationship between client and coach is the heart and soul of coaching as practiced in its purest form. Partners are equals, peers, co-creators. There is no hierarchy in partnering. Neither does partnering relegate the coach to observer, commentator or passive listener. While the coach doesn’t act as the knowing expert, the coach partner does participate in developing actions and ideas with the client not for the client. They work together in service of the client’s agenda.

2. Respecting. We coaches care deeply for our clients…at least that’s an assumption on my part. My experience has been that caring is a double-edged sword. And so I ask myself this question routinely: Do I care enough for my client that I will not permit myself to tell, direct, or judge their ideas, actions or results? ‘Caring’ as used in the coaching relationship is best described in terms of “respecting” as a profound expression of caring. My question then becomes: Do I respect my client enough …?

My observations about helping others extend to those among us who enter the professional of coaching in order to help people. Going along with this concept of helping others is the idea that being a nice person is also a requirement for being a coach. Who wouldn’t want to be and be known as a nice person? Who wouldn’t want a nice person as a coach? Who wouldn’t want to help others?

If I am a truly nice, caring and wish to be helpful to others, is that not sufficient to one day be a master coach? All I need to do is learn the techniques of coaching and the rest is experience. Clearly from my own observational experience, this is a not uncommon mindset of people who call themselves coaches, credentialed or not.

What do ‘nice,’ ‘caring’ and ‘helpful’ have in common? Referring back to my fearless definitions, they have in common the relationship between the coach and client. Taken together, these very wonderful human traits and behaviors can support or preclude partnership. When partnership is not possible, it may be due to the hierarchical relationship inherent in helpful/helping, being nice above all things, and taking caring to a fault.

In a coaching conversation, when I extend my hand to help my client by directing, solving, requiring or offering my ideas in lieu of theirs, I have either precluded or disturbed the partnership that defines the finest expression of coaching.

The road to mastery requires a coach to become a partner with each client. The genesis of partnership is curiosity, the activity is exploration, the being state is ‘not knowing,’ and so the result is empowerment of the client. A client who then becomes aware of what is so, becomes able to design and deliver actions that resolve, develop, turn around, handle, change and transform the reality or the story.

To conclude, the inherent ideal for effective masterful coaching is to respect the client as a partner and owner of the agenda. Being nice, generous, soulful, mindful … yes, and caring then all become the innate behaviors of the relationship that is built on respect and an appreciation for each other as individuals.

Before You Leap Across the Gap

This week I was given an opportunity to talk about the MCC exam with current PCC's who are aspiring to that credential.  I've been talking about the "gap" between the two credentials, the challenges of moving from the model of a training program, and the indescribable nature of what the MCC exam expects from you.

I find I know a lot about the MCC exam.  I hope I do since I assess them routinely.  That's helpful.  The logistics and what to expect are a key part of being able to "perform" during the exam.  Another even more critical factor is to have practiced the exam many times.  When I taught grad school I was always frank with my students about the format of an exam, how it will be graded, the time frame and recommended preparation work.  I do no less when describing the ICF credentialing process.  It all counts.

Why?  Well, it's never wise to take things for granted.  For instance, sending in just any ol' recording of a session is a possible road to failure.  The recording is evaluated just the same as the live oral and needs to be a coach's best work.  That requires recording session after session after session with a variety of clients, listening  to each, selecting the best and then having a qualified mentor listen as well (usually for a fee if a letter is to be written).  Ultimately the coach candidate will make the final choice and own it.

So what is the challenge for me here, really?  For me it's making sure I'm somewhat comfortable that what I am saying is valuable and just going for it.  There's another opportunity to continue the conversation next week.  My approach to the next session must be some middle ground between what I know I know and that I don't know everything.  I'll operate once again from the caveat that I am lecturing about the exam which only leads to a listening coach knowing about the exam.  The ultimate leap is next to be taken ... or as one can say: it's time to get on the court and get in the game. 

So before you leap, permit me to ask: How narrow is the gap for you?  Is it a huge leap?  Is it a comfortable leap?  Are you confident you can make it?  Have you practiced enough?  Do you have a safety net if you don't make it the first time?

Being Present: Defining What Cannot Be Defined

Welcome to my thoughts, my inquiry.
While Coaching Presence is a core competency of ICF professional coaching, I’m not writing this to only coaches. My intention then is to talk about the idea of “being present” as being a critical skill for effective work with people … period.

I work everyday with this coaching core competency. It’s fascinating, ephemeral and indefinable … yet one knows when it’s, well, ‘present’ (or as we coaches might say), in the space, or not missing. It’s a curious phenomenon, at least to the extent that I might say something like “the coach was at an early level of presence but a long way from mastery.” For me that kind of evaluation is intuitive but not easily explained. What’s interesting is that two coaches can agree, most often easily, that our perceptions are the same.

This is one competency I never let get away. It’s too important. As I have many items on my plate (that are over-the-top challenging), being present with each client, each time and completely, becomes an essential skill to renew all over again … and again … and again.

First a couple of definitions (my own):

• Present: being with one or others or in the specified or understood place. (It seems to me this is a behavior or action)
• Presence: the ability to project a sense of ease, poise or self-assurance. (It seems to me this is a quality of a person, as in a distinction)

 In thinking about this blog I began to pay attention to people interacting with one another because I gave priority to that level of noticing.

  

Here are two actual observations that I experienced as similar but not the same at all … see what you think.

(1) I watched as a politician was being greeted as a visiting dignitary … children presenting flowers, people in native dress smiling and waving, dignitaries greeting one another. I also noticed how the politician responded to these people. I was struck by the insincerity … the inauthenticity of it all … the performance, as it were. As a remote observer I did not experience any joy or pleasure in this scene … actually, I felt somewhat embarrassed. What’s key here is that I had a feeling about it at all … as if I had an investment in this person’s behavior.

(2) On another occasion I watched as a politician was being greeted as a visiting dignitary … the same scenario. However, on this occasion, the politician was clearly authentic … greeting people with great pleasure, paying attention to each, receiving gifts and flowers with pleasure and a feeling that transcended mere duty. There was something authentic and appreciative in this scenario. As an observer I experienced pleasure and even delight at watching a very powerful person being present in the setting at a level that was clearly a gift to those around. Once again, it seemed I had an investment in this activity.

  

What then is “being present?” What about it is so important that it would be a core competency of an entire profession?

That brings us first to …

Christine’s First Fearless Law of Communication:

• Being personally present is central and essential to having an authentic relationship with another person, no matter what.

Being a fan of Murphy and a teacher of logic in my university days, you might expect that I would expand on what I just asserted as basic.

  

I have.

There are four corollaries to my First Fearless Law...

• Corollary One: PARTNERSHIP. Being present to another person engenders and creates partnership, a core aspect of the relationship of coach and client.
• Corollary Two: CURIOSITY. It helps to be curious about something.
• Corollary Three: EXPLORATION. Partners can embark on marvelous journeys of exploration.
• Corollary Four: DISCOVERY. Discovery is the inevitable and remarkable result of exploration.

To be continued ...sometime later.  What do you think, so far?