Structure and Mastery

In coaching, this subject comes along rather frequently.

Structure.

It's a matter of physics. There is a structure to anything and everything no matter how amorphous it seems, no matter how small or how large, no matter how undisovered ... there's structure. An amoeba has structure, of course.

So (my favorite coaching transition word) here's the question: "What is the structure of a conversation that's not supposed to have a script or seemingly no structure?"

The reason this is a subject for now is my prior blog on PCC to MCC ... the big gap. The structure a student learns in a coach training program is a script and that may be where we begin and end this discussion.

I then will ask you: "What is the purpose and utility of a script?"

For all the years I took drama courses and from my youth performing in plays, a recent foray into that world reminded me that a script is a structure for the story that allows me to portray the character within that script. I imagine that makes sense to most. But does being able to use a script well infuse me with mastery? I imagine most of you will say something like 'how could it?'

Yet again I will ask you 'what then, is mastery?' To answer that it might be wise to disappear into metaphor. I invite you to watch actors and sportspersons and journalists and others who are brilliant in their work ... seemingly without effort... and decide for yourself what the structure of their work actually is. In my experience do not be surprised if you find it very difficult to discover the actual structure that separates them from a script or a rule book or a deadline.

I leave you in the inquiry. I hope you find it well worth the time.

The Big Leap from PCC to MCC

I’ve become clear that the leap from a coach training program’s idea of how to coach to being ready to pass the ICF MCC (Master Certified Coach) exam is often Grand Canyon size. I don’t really like to make this kind of distinction as it smacks of “Gee lady, who are you to pass judgment like that?”

Fair question, of course.

I learned from the mouth of the late, wonderful George Leonard (Mastery) who reminded us all that mastery is a journey that requires a relentless commitment to practicing whatever it is one wants to master. He sees the actual road to mastery as a series of long and often unexciting plateaus where nothing seems to happen. “How come I’m not getting there?” “Why is there always more to do, more to practice, more times to fail?” Well, the answer is what he told us.

I have the deepest admiration for coaches who opt to be peer reviewed in a rigorous exam that does not hold back, play favorites or engage in politics. It’s really like that. I have admiration for a coach who approaches and attempts the MCC exam and does not succeed at first and yet never gives up.

Back to the leap.

Coach training programs play to the level of acceptable PCC (Professional Certified Coach) which is absolutely sufficient and indicative of a coach willing to sit for peer review and go through the rigor of the ICF requirements. No one is going to diminish this achievement. I do not say this lightly as I would bring aboard any PCC to work on a project without hesitation.

So who wants to submit to the high possibility of not succeeding in the MCC exam … often at first and occasionally several times? Well, that’s a choice that some want to make. My admiration is loud for those who stay with the development of their coaching skills and style even though the journey is often long, unexciting, frustrating and fraught with the possibility of failure along the way.

If this is okay with you, welcome to the journey!

Using Expertise in Coaching

How does a coach use expertise and still remain a coach? Sounds simple ... or does it?

One of the changes I wish the ICF would make is to have a core competency call "Using Expertise" ... it's so needed. However, in the interest of not having enough clout to make that happen, I can at least blog about it.

When I first entered the ICF world in 1996 and then at a Conference in 1998, the idea of being a "business coach" was looked at with scowls and doubts. Just so you know, I was not trained as a coach in any of the first few coach training programs that focused (in the U.S., that is) on life or personal coaching. The perpetual struggle at the time was separating coaching from therapy/counseling/psychology. I wasn't in that struggle as I had one of my own: how does one's expertise fit in with a coaching model that doesn't include expertise at all (just read the current ICF Core Competencies and take note.)

Now I'm not going to put down the CC's as I use them everyday and appreciate their power. In fact, the worm has turned with respect to expertise with the advent of executive coaching as a power in the ICF through university coach training programs and those of us who hide out in organizations (as I do now).

Notwithstanding all this, the technique of using expertise is critical to remaining a coach for a client rather than an advisor or consultant ("this is what and how you do it") in approach. So here's what I do and I'll give an example ...

My client has a struggle managing his time and tasks. What's new about that? Nothing at all. High performing people very often get lost in in their sea of work and, absent managing it, often get lost at sea. It's tempting to "help" your client by giving them techniques to solve their situation. Very tempting and seemingly easy. But as a coach I'm not in that relationship with my client to do that. The test begins when faced with a fervent plea for help. This is where explaining once again how coaching works: "We'll tackle this as partners who will explore together what you might do about it." That's the first instruction. I also like to spend quite a bit of time in the exploration phase where my own curiosity can spur curiosity in my client. The facts are these: (1) we both need to know more about how my client works best; (2) what's the depth/breadth of the situation; (3) what's working now; and (4) what outcome makes the most sense. That's a rather leading series of questions/requests isn't it? Well, this part is all about clarifying the agenda so we know where to begin.

Do you recognize a bit of expertise showing through here? I hope so. Working with a client on a gnarly issue like "time management" isn't an "open question" at the outset. We need to have something to build on ... agree?

When all the preminaries are sorted out, it's time for coaching to take hold. This is when questions become open, the reminders of accountability become clear, the client is learning and seeing with new eyes, and the possibilities of new thinking appear. How cool is that?

You may notice that lists of things to do haven't appeared ... and they're not going to appear when impact coaching is happening. Things to do (aka 'actions') will come along naturally whenever the client's awareness reaches the "I can do something about it!" stage. That's when the coach is supportive but not naive ... "What might get in your way?"

I've found that just about everyone has issues around time and money ... no matter where they're from or how they think. Accepting this as a logical part of being human gives me wide space for accepting the infinite variety of ways people deal with these issues ... and gets me off the hook for being a 'know-it-all" with answers and directives. Clearly we all have it in us to find the way forward, especially with a coach who works from curiosity and lets the client do the "heavy lifting."

Plateaus and Mastery

Practice, practice, practice. I've said this before but it's never going to be different. The road to mastery is a series of plateaus (per George Leonard's Mastery). The darn downside to spending our overwhelming amount of time on a plateau is that it's flat and boring ... well, maybe. For sure it's flat given all we're doing is practicing what we want to get great at doing.

From Mastery, Chapter 10...

"You resolve to make a change for the better in your life. It could be any significant change, but let's say it involves getting on the path of mastery, developing a regular practice. You tell your friends about it. You put your resolution in writing. You actually make the change. It works. It feels good. You're happy about it. Your friends are happy about it. Your life is better.

"Then you backslide."

What's this have to do with you? I find as I mentor and assessor coaches at all levels, that exam failure is the big backslide for some aspiring coaches. If not even taking the credentialing exam is the result of not wanting to fail ... or backslide ... then the road to mastery for you will be rather challenging for other reasons than just landing on plateaus all the time.

I'll let you chew on that for a while.

If you're gung ho! about pursuing excellence and mastery, then simply knowing that you will be "practicing" constantly, learning all the time, putting yourself out there routinely, measuring your skills against standards ... all that kind of thing. So we are once again reminded of Leonard's admonition that practice actually becomes the way life goes and will always go. If one actually arrives at mastery then the only option is to get back on that plateau.

Back to George Leonard (who by the way was a 6th degree Aikido black belt, top gun, and much more ... he died recently in his mid-'90's after still practicing Aikido at age 93).

"[L]ifelong learning is the special province of those who travel the path of mastery, the path that never ends."

"Over the long haul, there nothing like the path of mastery to lead you to an energetic life. A regular practice not only elicits energy but tames it.... On the master's journey, you can learn to put things in perspective, to keep the flow of energy going during low moments as well as high."

I hope you found the experience and wisdom of George Leonard inspiring and important.

New Lessons in Self-Management

Self-management is a never-ending lesson.

It's been about a week and a half since my mother passed away peacefully in her sleep. After 5 months of family care in a hospice setting, our family can be proud of our teamwork.

So what does this have to do with self-management? Plenty. A lot. More than I thought.

As a professional coach, my role in the life and work of each client is to be their partner as we seek out insights and what to do about them. During my time in California (several trips across country) I was able to work and enjoyed my mother's interest in "people who can work on the phone." She never really knew what I was up to but enjoyed asking about every call.

It seemed pretty simple and not too difficult to serve clients while being her companion and chef (now there's an exaggeration!). Well, she enjoyed the meals so what else is important? I'm certain I was able to be present (after all the years I've practiced being present) and didn't engage my clients in what I was doing unless asked ... then only briefly. It wasn't my coaching time, after all.

Enough of the story.

It's been a week-and-a-half since my mother passed. I find myself struggling to accomplish anything except effective coaching calls ... thank goodness! Here's my insight: I am clear and present to my need to manage myself in service of my client. In this case I'm including one-on-one clients, a class in group coaching, and a class in executive coaching I taught last Saturday. All went well, are going well, and remain a delight as always. That's professional self-management! That's what I'm looking for and learning about. Above all, even when I don't feel like my morning swim, my work will thrive.

Uh, now there's that other side: personal self-management. Perhaps I'm just asking too much of myself right now. First things first: take care of my professional self, stay away from making too many decisions for a while (even business ones), and begin (begin!) to manage my personal self-management. I sort of think I'm talking myself into a behavior pattern that will work best for all concerned. After all, losing one's mother is a life-altering event ... it's been 32 years since my father died.

Here's what I think personal self-management is all about: it's about being generous with myself in allowing moments of personal grief ... then moving along to what's needed. My mother and I were very close. She would and did ask me to be gentle in caring for myself.

In our professional lives, it is my experience that above all I must be authentic ... I mean really authentic. When with a client it's about the client, when with myself it's okay to be about myself, when enjoying something it's about that.

That's presence and I'm still working on it.

Coaching Self-Management: Never Step Over the Obvious

I've talked about this previously, I think. But it's ongoing and ripe for some more investigation.

I dash back and forth across the country to do my part as a caretaker of my mother. Our entire family is engaged in this remarkable display of selfless teamwork. Even great-grandchildren were doing their share being terrific, drawing pictures and "swiffering" her hardwood floors. We all love my mom/grandma/GG (one does acquire a plethora of names throughout one's life). We know she is dying and are making her last days comfortable in her hospice setting at home.

In the middle of this activity I must work. My work is coaching. My profession asks that I work at my best with each and every client no matter what.

"Never step over the obvious!"

First of all, I acknowledge what's in my "space" (to use coaching jargon). Perhaps I should just say that I acknowledge what's so and move on with the conversation. How does one do that? I mean, there's the emotion of a mother ill and dying in the next room. In my situation, my mother thinks what I do is wonderful and smiles broadly when she hears the phone ring. That alone is supportive and inspiring.

"Never step over the obvious!"

First and foremost my work as a coach requires me to be of service to my client and his/her agenda for that coaching call (I have run out of energy around the term 'session'). After thousands of hours as a coach, by now I should have acquired quite a skill being present (a core competency of coaching) ... fully present to my client and to what we're talking about. There's more to this: I also must be in the mindset of curiosity, willing to explore ideas, thoughts and concerns as a partner with my client in that hour. This is definitely possible no matter what. What makes it so or helps to make it so is that I have not stepped over the obvious (my mother's illness) neither have I made it the subject of anything but a soft "reporting in" when asked by my client. That's it! It's not complicated and frankly it's quite a lovely respite from my world to be able to engage in the world of another person.

This way of approaching professional coaching allows the coach to be effectively self-managed.

Three Is Enough

I was one of three ... two younger brothers and myself ... the dreaded older sister. In relationships that's truly a triangle with interesting dynamics.

Happily for you I am not going to talk about that in this blog.

Over my 25 years in business, 17 as a coach, I've discovered the power of 3.
Huh? Okay, here's what I mean by this:

It occurs to me that holding more than three key ideas, three new thoughts, three goals, three tasks, ... get the point? ... is just about too much. There's also the idea that 3 is an uneven number so when you vote (by yourself about yourself), one side needs to win (i.e. if there are only two sides to the vote). LOL

Think about this ... as a recovering multi-tasker of amazing skill (only in my own mind) I found overwhelm to be the undesired result of taking on too many whatevers. I had this typical response to tasks that needed to be done: "Count on me! I can handle that!" And I paid a dear price for half my life lived that way. Sure, I was superwoman and the manager of all things perfectly. Only, that's not possible, is it? Something is bound to give way.

When we work with clients who are in overwhelm or even when work on ourselves, it's absolutely necessary to help them narrow the field ... great coaching questions like "What's on your list of things to do?" will open up the proverbial can of worms as the response, "I don't really know."

I work with this exact situation rather often. Sometimes it's the "first baby step" process ... and doesn't an accomplished engineer love to think about that! Well, yes. How can I tell? The pain comes through the phone. Often it's time for a little story or a bit of levity to break up the misery (my client's not mine). "Is it okay if we start at the beginning?" (This is not a therapy question since the beginning is right now.) We might discuss what's urgent and important, urgent but not important, important but not urgent (and sometimes none of the above).

By now you've figured it out: for a person in overwhelm, everything has become urgent with the fatal accompanying response to "Take care of this by 5:00" being the all accommodating "Sure." Once your client sees this little scenario (and they do quite quickly), a whole world can open up that is punctuated by the word "no" or some sort of negotiation. In order to get some buy in to their own insight, coach might ask for a current example and take it from there. Working through "how to do this" together as partners, exploring ways that fit with client's style and the task details, ... this is 'the first baby step' to taking charge and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as the light and not a train coming.

Back to three. It's always a good idea to stop at three steps, goals, ideas, tasks in order to make progress. Make it simple. Keep it simple. 'Three' is a manageable number. Afterall, overwhelm is a sure pathway to inferior work, problematic relationships, unhappiness, frustration, illness ... you name the rest. It's beautiful when overwhelm is resolved for the benefit of all.